How to Rekindle, Reignite, and Recharge Your Love Affair
The key to a long-lasting relationship is intimacy…not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy. Intentional connection, on a regular basis, is key to a long lasting, healthy relationship. One may ask, “how can I be intentional in my relationship?” In short…”by actively seeking out opportunities to engage, one on one.” It is all about making your #1 feel like they are #1. It is all about spontaneity, passion, and excitement. It is all about creating an unbreakable bond with that one special person in your life that makes you smile when you hear their name.
I, personally, feel the most connected with my partner when we are able to get away from our demanding brood of 4 and just but just two people in love. Don’t get me wrong, we absolutely adore our amazing kids, however, our lives are completely and utterly overshadowed by their fluid extracurricular activities and schedule. Adult only time is an important factor in sustaining our romance.
The moment we are able to sneak away and leave them in my mother’s care we do just that! I have to say, as of late, I have been more intentional about making date night happen, and that is ok. Successful relationships are all about partnership in every way. When I am weak, he is strong and vice versa.
We have been married for going on 19 years, we’ve seen and done almost everything. Every year we celebrate our anniversary in a unique and special way. I honestly wonder what ideas will be left once we hit our 50th wedding anniversary! Like James Ingram sang, you have to figure out how to keep the music playing.
“Keeping the music playing,” after 19 years, honestly, can be challenging from time to time. No one said marriage, or any long term commitment, would be easy…but they can be worth it, if you dedicate yourself to its success.
We made a commitment to each other, when we were young kids in love, to never let our love fade…to have regular date nights as often as we can. The older we got, the more kids we had, and the more settled we got into our careers, keeping date night on track became a challenge. We decided as a couple to get back to our core and make our relationship the most important relationship to cultivate.
Our date nights range from the spontaneous, “none of the kids have extra curricular activities tonight, do you want to step out” to the detailed “mark your calendar for Feb 8th, I have a surprise for you” type of date night.
Both can be equally fun, if done right…
Both can feel equally seductive, if done right.
If done right, both can feel equally intention.
Let’s dive into intentional dating and how it can help save your relationship.
What is intentional dating?
Let’s take a moment to go back in time. Let’s do a little reminiscing. Go back to the first day you met your partner. Remember how excited you were when she graced you with her presence. Remember how the gentle touch of his hand on yours gave you goose bumps. Remember how you couldn’t wait until you two were together again. Remember your first kiss. Now remember the time, effort and care you took to make sure each and every encounter you shared was perfect. This is the energy you must bring into date night to make each and every moment, intentional. You may be married for 5, 12, 20 or 40 years…it doesn’t matter…you should strive to be in a perpetual state of dating your spouse or partner.
According to GoodGuySwag…
“Intentional dating is dating with a purpose and a plan. It has definition and structure. It’s asking a girl out and actually calling it “a date.” If things go great and the chemistry is strong, it’s asking her out again, and then again. It progresses and builds. It tells her you want to be her man. Before she can ask you for a DTR conversation, you’ve already defined it. It has an aim, and that target is to find your wife. The plan is laid out like you’d prepare a speech in school. It’s telling her what you’re going to do, doing it, and telling her what you did.
It’s being upfront.
If you don’t see a future, it’s being honest. It doesn’t allow a relationship to just fizzle out. Intentional dating means you don’t just stop calling her if it’s not working. There’s no “ghosting” involved. There’s a clean cut because confusion causes way more hurt and damage in the end. It’s plain and simple. It’s black and white.
It’s being a man.
’As much as I hate planning and organization, I’d like to think my life is worth more than just drifting with current. No, I want to grab hold of my destiny. Success requires planning and vision. I wasted years dating girls hoping something would miraculously just switch, but a good and sturdy building doesn’t just spring up overnight. I’ve been guilty of being that coward guy…many times over.”
I say intentional relationship building isn’t gender specific. Anyone can take charge of the romance building and help to foster an incredibly strong relationship.
Intentional relationship building is the “work” renowned marital counselors call the “glue that bonds” a couple to help safeguard it from outside forces.
Ladies…we can take turns with planning the special memory making moments for our significant others. After all, guys like to feel special too.
Gentleman…I am not going to let you off easy! Take this opportunity to level up your courting game. Open every door. Buy every flower. Compliment every look.
Be present. Be authentic. Be inviting. Be creative.
Pay attention to her favorite Netflix show, ice cream flavor, book, pastime and fragrance.
Use your new found intel to create an opportunity to WOW her! Trust me, women love attentive men.
I Am Ready to be Intentional with my Partner. Where Do I Start?
It’s never too late to right a ship. If your relationship is stale, or starting to feel a bit passive it is time to STEP IT UP!!
Cardinal rule #1 – You definitely need to make it your priority to make him/her/they feel special. Show him how much you love him by kicking off date night with a sensual kiss, give her a scalp massage, wear that special outfit she loves and finally share a sneak peek of your goodies to get him going and excited about the possibilities later.
Run a warm bath. Soak and relax…trust me, you don’t want to rush this step…it is mood setting. Pull out your favorite oil and moisturize your body from head to toe. Oils linger longer than most creams and and it does a better job at keeping your skin supple, soft and glistening. Wax and/or shave your unmentionables. Put on that red lipstick you have been saving for the “right occasion.” Spray your favorite fragrance on your neck, ankles and wrist for a sexy after affect. Finally…slip on your xScentuals scented essentials.
xScentuals Scented Essentials - “The Desserts Collection” are unmentionables infused with sensual scents and safety tested for your protection.
All of your favorite deserts…vanilla, strawberry, mocha, caramel, and chocolate. These cheeky delights will liven up any date night.
At the end of your evening, your final surprise will be dessert so good he won’t be able to contain himself. Pick his favorite dessert and tell him, “Now you can have your cake and eat it too!” He will go wild!
xScentuals Scented Essentials Flavors
- Chocolate – deep, rich, melt in your mouth, not in your hands… such a satisfying delight will never disappoint.
- Mocha - just like a steamy cup of joe, this hot number will make you warm and cozy all over. Feel free to express-Yo self.
- Caramel – a rich taste of honey too sticky to stop, so sweet you won’t want to!
- Strawberry – deliciously & naturally sweet this fragrant fruit will delight & satisfy the sweetest tooth.
- Vanilla – smooth & subdued, yet sweet & seductive. This “anything but plain” jane excites the soul.
Sure Fire Steps to Take to Create the Perfect Date Night
- Coordinate – make sure bae is ready and available for your private session with him/her/they. Send 4-5 day and time options that work for you. Send the options to your partner coupled with sexy text message to get the juices flowing. Once you both have agreed on the date and time, send a cheeky confirmation text. YES an image of your butt cheeks + the location + the date and time. If this is a bit overt for your liking skip sending the seductive shot, for now.
- Check the Budget – you don’t have to break the bank to have a good time. Remember, all your partner needs is YOU. Once you have solidified the amount you have to spend on your amazing night, proceed to the next step…planning the agenda.
- Set the Agenda – What is your agenda for the evening? Netflix & Chill? 69 & Be Fine? Relax, Relate & Release? Get Down & Dirty? Whatever you choose make the evening memorable. How? Create a theme. Netflix and Chill theme? Pre select the movie, order the wine, prepare the appetizers, create the mood with sexy music and let the games begin.
- Set the Tone – Are you staying in? Clean the house. Do the dishes. Bake some chocolate cookies (yes baked goods are sensual), turn on your favorite R&B channel, warm up or cool down the house. If you have kids, get a babysitter. Unclutter the bedroom. Burn your favorite candles. Turn out the lights. Put on your favorite xScentuals scented essentials. Start the evening talking about how his/her/they day went.
- Set the Stage– Clean sheets are a must. If all goes well, they won’t be clean at the end of the night. Are you into desserts in the bedroom? If so, melted chocolate or caramel syrup is crucial. Fresh strawberries are also a great option. Don’t forget the Whipped Cream. Mocha shots (for energy) and plenty of towels are needed. Create a display of you and your partner’s favorite finger foods (you won’t have time to sit down for a full dinner). Set up your own wine tasting station full of red, white and sparkling wines to indulge in.
- Get Ready – You know what turns on your partner, so amplify that. Does she love when you wear her favorite cologne and jeans that show off your perfect derriere? Rock both.
- Does he love it when you rock a sexy smoky eye, nude lip, with your hair flowing down your backless dress. Go for it!!
- Date night make up ideas! Hint: We prefer JLo’s look. https://www.allure.com/gallery/prettiest-date-night-makeup-looks
- Make a Game out of It – Twister. Strip Poker. Erotic Body Painting. Whatever you fancy…come prepared.
- 25 Stay At Home Date Night Ideas That Are Better Than Netflix https://www.happilyeveradventures.com/at-home-date-night-ideas/
- It is a Selfies and Usies Kind of Night – Trust me, if you follow all of my aformentioned steps, you will want memories from the night. Grab your polaroid camera, for nostalgic sake, and capture every steamy moment. Save your instant shots for your date night portfolio that the two of you will save and share for keepsake. Make sure to whip it out before your next date night for a little inspiration.
- Bring a few post night delights with you into the bedroom. Everyone knows that whipped cream is an all time favorite foreplay food to explore…but there are a host of others to consider.
- Chocolate -who doesn’t like to lick this bittersweet delight?
- Strawberries – perfectly sweet & easy to place all over your partner’s body.
- Champagne – this party starter will help set the tone of the night.
- Bananas – the innuendo itself is enough.
- Cherries – try tying the steam with your tongue. Whoever wins gets the “prize.”
- Melon – sliced up into little pieces or halved to have fun role playing.
- Gummy bears – sprinkle your favorite flavors all over him for a candy filled buffet.
- Ice cream – chocolate, strawberry or vanilla…sweet enough to lick, and cold enough to send a shiver down your partner’s spine.
- Plan The Next Date Night – Plan ahead…remember be intentional. Create your list of date night ideas, locations, and events. Research date night ideas in your city and create a monthly calendar by season. Check each one off the list marking each experience as you go.
- 100 Cute Date Night Ideas https://www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a31405192/cute-romantic-date-ideas/
- Downloadable date night invitations https://www.postermywall.com/index.php/posters/search?s=date%20night
A few resources…
Date night make up ideas! Hint: We prefer JLo’s look.
See what Kandi Burruss said was the freakiest thing she has ever done.
Sexy, scented, sensuals, scented essentials (panties and more)
COOL DATE NIGHT OUTFITS
BEST PLACES FOR A FIRST DATE:
- Romantic picnic
- Country Music concert
- R&B concert
- Flower/botanical garden
- Coffee shop
- Spoken Word event
- Comedy Show
- Wine Tasting
- Farmers Market
- Art Festival
- Movie Theatre
- Ice skating
- Horseback riding
- Shooting Range
- Cooking Class
- Museum hopping
- Star gazing